The Power of Our Words

You know that moment when you have said something and you instantly regret it, or want to crawl in a hole and cover yourself up, or you have to turn away from your child because of the shame on your face and the disbelief on theirs? We've all been there at one time or another.  Whether we say something we regret on the computer or our phone, and want to delete the post or email upon re-reading what was sent, or we say something to someone we love  - its a horrible feeling. 

 

Today's devotional revolves around the power of our words and the scripture comes from Proverbs.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
The wise person makes learning a joy, fools spout only foolishness.
The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good.
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit...
A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook...
Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips bring satisfaction.

Proverbs 15:1-4; 18:4, 20

 

Harsh words stir up anger (aka speak gently), the wise person makes learning a joy (aka be smart in how you "teach" your children- they are learning from YOU), the Lord is watching (truth- pretend he is standing next to you), a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (have you ever seen this happen to a child? it is heartbreaking to see the spirit of a child squashed because of an adults words), words can be life-giving water (oh how I hope mine can be someday), words satisfy the soul (both hearing them and giving them satisfy my soul). 

 

Something I have learned about life so far - its not always WHAT is said that is the hurtful part - but HOW.  Words are powerful.  Having taught in a classroom setting I saw this happen so many times.  The right words in the right tone could change a situation in an instant.  "I'm so proud of..." (instant warm fuzzy), "Hmmm I wonder..." (instant curiosity and determination), A whisper in an ear of "I saw what you did, lets talk about it later" (instant self reflection and remorse), the dreaded teacher eye where a look can say a thousand words. I had 22 little eyes on me constantly - talk about pressure.  You know what though - it prepared me for motherhood.  I once had a major problem of saying things without fully thinking.  I don't know why.  I was raised to be a confident, proud woman and I took this a little to the extreme.  I did alot of self reflection, prayed alot, held myself accountable daily and over the years have gotten so much better.  I am still a work in progress, aren't we all?, but have learned that sometimes saying nothing at all is better than saying anything. 

As a mom, I am learning that Paxton watches EVERYTHING I do and hears everything I say.  How I talk to the checkout lady at Target.  How I talk on the phone, how I treat strangers.  He is learning from me.  You cannot take words back.  You can apologize but cannot take them back once they are out.  The damage has been done.  We all have those moments as a mom where we loose our cool.  But, the important thing is not to forget it and move on, but to go to our children, or walk back to the target cashier or sit next to our spouse and acknowledge we made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.  We are not perfect and we wont always have the perfect words to say and we wont always say them in the perfect tone.  But, we do have the ability to be aware and strive daily to be conscious of our words, how we use them, what we say and most importantly how they impact our children.  

From Karol Ladd, "[Children] need to hear what strong but gentle words sound like...the most effective discipline is not delivered through shouts and screams, but rather through caring, guarded and thoughtful instruction...as we teach, train and discipline our children, let's never underestimate the power of wise, kind and well-chosen words."   

Choices to make this week:

• This week I will choose to use only life-giving words with my family and friends, discipline my children with strong but gentle instruction, allow the law of kindness to rule my tongue.

Prayer:

"Loving and kind heavenly Father, I praise you for your wisdom and power.  You alone are the Lord.  Thank you for your kindness and gentleness toward me.  Lead me to speak kind and gentle words to my children in a spirit of calm.  Give me self-control when I'm angry, so that I do not hurt myself or others with my words.  Help me to use only life-giving words when I speak to my family and friends.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."