The Depths of God's Forgiveness

As a parent I fail all the time... I fail as a daughter, wife, sister in law, friend... etc.  We are not perfect people and we don't make perfect decisions all of the time.  Reading this mornings devotional I was reminded of this AND the depth of forgiveness God gives us that we should return to others.  While the devotional was centered around sin, I don't always just ask for God's forgiveness when I sin... I ask it daily for mistakes I feel I've made. 

Where is another God like you, who pardons the sins of survivors among his people? You cannot stay angry with your people forever, because you delight showing mercy.  Once again you will have compassion on us.  You will trample our sins under your feet and throw them into the depths of the ocean! You will show us your faithfulness and unfailing love as you promised with an oath to our ancestors Abraham and Jacob long ago.
Micah 7:18-20

Karol Ladd brings up the infamous Titanic scene when Rose gently parts with her diamond necklace.  To us, it seemed like a really expensive waste, but to her, it was a symbolic experience of being freed from the past.  In the scripture above, we are reminded that God tosses our sin into the deepest depths of the ocean - freeing us from the guilt that sin can carry. 

As moms, we carry a lot of guilt.  For me, its often times guilt I bring upon myself (did I play with Pax enough this morning?  am I working with him enough on his talking?  did I raise my voice to loud when I was angry with him?) Are these sins... heck no.  They are my own self judgments that cause me to carry unnecessary guilt.  Don't we all do this to some degree?  The amazing thing is though, we have a God who once we confess and ask for forgiveness... grants it to us and forgets about it.  I want to be able to do the same. I want to treat others with that same compassion and understanding and most certainly want to teach Paxton that if he can be honest with himself and others he WILL be forgiven.  I want to give mercy to others, not judgment and be the example for him, show him that we have a God who loves us and forgives us for things we cannot forgive ourselves for. 

I am so thankful for a God who doesn't judge me... there is enough of that in the world right now, and I am so full of peace knowing that He takes my sin (no matter how tiny or big, shortcomings and all of the above) and tosses them into the depths of the ocean!

Choices to make this week:
-This week I will choose to receive God's mercy, I will show mercy towards others, I will walk humbly with God, knowing that he has pardoned me and loves me with unfailing love.

Prayer from Karol Ladd:
"Wonderful, loving and forgiving God, I praise you for your faithfulness and unfailing love.  Thank you for forgiving me of all my sins through Jesus.  Thank you for throwing those sins into the depths of the ocean.  Help me not to fish them out again! I want to live in the freedom you desire for me.  Guide me to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with you everyday of my life.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen!"

   

God's Plumb Line (a weird title... I know)

I have been MIA for a month (actually a month and 2 weeks I think).  While I have still read each devotional the past few Mondays I didn't do as much self reflection and application as I had been and I've missed it.  I also failed to communicate them to you and I'm sorry about that.  You can read all about our busy month and my excuses for not blogging here.  It is a time commitment that I obligated to many weeks ago and we are a little over halfway to our year.  I am committed to keeping this up for my own accountability and to encourage others along the way.  So, here is to finishing out the year!

A Plumb line ( I had no idea what it was until I googled it AND my husbands a builder, oops!) is a tool that someone would use when building a wall to make sure it's straight.  It's a cord suspending a lead weight that is used to show a builder if the wall is vertically straight.  If a wall isn't straight, overtime, it will collapse.  It is not sturdy and does not stand strong.  Without the plumb line, the wall would lose its structural integrity. 

From the book of Amos:

"Then he showed me another vision.  I saw the Lord standing beside a wall that had been built using a plumb line. He was checking it with a plumb line to see if it was straight.  And the Lord said to me, "Amos, what do you see?" 

I answered. "A plumb line".  

And the Lord replied, "I will test my people with this plumb line.  I will no longer ignore all their sins.  The pagan shrines of your ancestors and the temples of Israel will be destroyed, and I will bring the dynasty of King Jeroboam to a sudden end." 

                                                                                                    Amos 7:7-9

Now knowing what a plumb line is I hope that scripture was a little easier to understand, it was for me. The Lord was using the plumb line as an analogy to how he was going to "check" or hold his people "accountable" and "measure" their sin.  God wants us to be strong and structurally sound and knows that sin causes us to go down crooked paths and ultimately leads to our destruction. 

So, Karol Ladd tells us that our plumb line is God's Word.  What I love about that is yesterday in church, Pastor Randy said something that really stuck with me, "Do you acknowledge your sin or only justify it? To live by and justify the word of God is to KNOW the word of God".  I was convicted.  2 Timothy 3:16-17 says. "All scripture is inspired by God and Is useful to teach us what is true and to make us realize what is wrong in our lives.  It straightens us out and teaches us to do what is right.  It is God's way of preparing us in every way, fully equipped for every good thing God wants us to do."  I feel like so many people "nowadays" constantly justify their sins.  There is a "reason" for everything. We all sin, duh, daily I sin... but it doesn't make it right if I make up a really good excuse or I can justify it in my own head.  Acknowledging it and admitting I messed up, then going to God's word on what is right and good is the only way to learn from that sin instead of justifying it in my own mind.   Pastor Randy's sermon was related to America's sin at the moment, more specifically the politics surrounding abortion and Gay rights.  I am not going to talk about my specific point of view on this blog other than sharing his sermon message in that Americans are justifying their point of view and they are breaking God's heart.  They are not acknowledging what the bible says, what it means and how it applies to these issues and more importantly peoples lives.  America needs God's plumb line and that's all I am going to say.          

"To build strong lives, we need to measure ourselves against the plumb line of God's Word." (Ladd) What is our role as mommas to little ones growing up in a society of people who don't measure their lives against God's word? Well, we need to reach our children with God's word.  We need to learn and lead by example for our children.  Who else can we count on to do it? 

I need to read my bible more, I need to know and understand God's word better so that I continue to be built into a strong, sturdy woman and momma of God so I can raise my kiddos to be the same.  My sin is not forgiven because I, capital I, can justify it.  It is forgiven by the Grace of God when I can so humbly acknowledge and admit my sin to him.  I pray I can raise my Pax and Brinlee to do the same - growing as a momma is the first step right? 

Choices to make this week:

- I will choose to begin systematically reading God's word, ask the Lord to reveal any sin that lurks in my heart, teach my children the importance of knowing, loving, and obeying God's word. 

 

Prayer from Karol Ladd for us:

"Powerful Lord and gracious Father, I praise you for the wonderful blessing of your Word.  Thank you for giving me a plumb line by which I can measure my life.  Help me to honor you in the way that I live.  Thank you for wanting the best for me and my family.  Help us to be "structurally sound" as we study your Word together and learn to walk in your ways.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

       

God's Perfect Plan

Okay so I read the title of this devotional this morning and already started to tear up.  Pregnancy hormones topped with life right now, whew.  Its as if the Lord KNEW (which I know he does) exactly what I needed to hear this morning.  A little background... we have had our house on the market a week and this past Saturday, (not even a full week after listing it) we received and accepted an offer on it.  Woo hoo! We are ecstatic and are beyond grateful about that BUT, now have to come up with a plan for our life (ahem, pray about a plan) for the next 6-8 months while our new house is built while also taking care of both my babies (the one already here and the one cooking who will probably make her debut before the new house is finished :)).    We wanted to take advantage of the booming sellers market but honestly did not anticipate the house selling this quick. 

You know what though? Our life is God's perfect plan.  Not ours, but his! I can stress about it but ultimately I have faith that it WILL all work out :).  So... what DID today's devotional have to say about all of this?

"The truth is that you will be in Babylon for seventy years.  But then I will come and do for you all the good things I have promised, and I will bring you home again.  For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord.  "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.  In those days when you pray, I will listen.  If you look for me in the earnest, you will find me when you seek me.  I will be found by you," says the Lord.  "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes.  I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and bring you home again to your own land."   

Jeremiah 29:10-14



 

The Lord reassured his people that he heard their prayers and despite difficult circumstances he still had a great plan for their lives.   You know, we all have times when we need reassurance that God has a plan.  I remember the first few weeks after bringing Paxton home from the hospital asking God, "really? I love this baby - but am I really cut out for this?  Is this what I am supposed to be doing?" I can laugh now - of course He knew EXACTLY what he was doing but in those moments you do wonder.  Whether we go through a short-term frustration or we're battling a long term challenge, there IS tremendous comfort in knowing God has a bigger plan for us and our families. 

 

I'm sure the Israelites in the scripture were thinking 70 years was not a good plan, but God reassured them that he would bring them back to their land and give them a future and hope.  Okay, so in our situation I know we have a future and I have not lost all hope.  We will have a place to live and all of our needs met.  Its just the "not knowing" that is difficult.  Its trusting that it will all work out!   Was this my plan to sell our house in a week and be looking at rental homes to settle into for the next 6 months, hm, no.  But thats ok, because it was God's and I have faith it will all work out.  We can all have assurance that God has a good plan for us and our families! Thank Goodness!

 

This week I will choose to rejoice in the fact that God has a plan for my life, that He has a plan for my children's lives and His plan is a good one!



Prayer from Karol Ladd:
"Powerful God, I praise you, because you have a good plan for my life.  I praise you, because you are able to carry out that plan in your time and in your way.  I trust your love for me.  Thank you for hearing my prayers.  Thank you for the way you work in my life far beyond what I can see.  Help me to continue seek you all the days of my life.  Amen."  





His Glorious Strength

Raise your hand if at one time or another you have felt worn out? Exhausted? Stretched too thin?  Join the club right!?! We've all felt like this at one time or another.  I personally, am feeling this way more than ever recently.  On top of being pregnant and chasing a toddler all day, we are in the process of trying to see our house (which means show ready with 2 dogs, a cat and toddler at all times), preparing for a baby girl and designing and building our new home.  I feel sometimes there are not enough hours in the day and other times I feel like there just isn't enough of me to go around.  This is a busy season for all of us and even when we feel "alone",the Lord sees and understands all of our situations! 

"O Israel, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? Don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary.  No one can measure the depths of his understanding.  He gives power to those who are tired and worn out; he offers strength to the weak.  Even youths will become exhausted, and young men will give up.  But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength.  They will fly high on wings like eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not faint. 

Isaiah 40:27-31 

 

God never grows tired and weary- we do, but he doesn't.  Oh thank goodness for this right?  This means we can lean on him for strength any time.  In the above scripture the people of Israel are told that those that wait on the Lord gain new strength.  But if we're so busy how do we possibly sit back and wait when we have so much that needs to be done? Well, it doesn't mean we get to sit back, twiddling our thumbs and give up our responsibilities.  It means we have faith and trust God in the midst of our responsibilities knowing He will help us.  When we keep our eyes on him and his plan, that is where we get our strength.  We must always remember that we are not alone and that God is on our side. 

 

I've also learned that alot of the time, we are in control of the way we react to situations.  We are in "control" of how we feel.  That is relative... but, when I feel overwhelmed, stressed, worried, etc. I usually (admittedly not always) pray about it first and then do something to take my mind off what is stressing me out.  As moms, our attitudes directly effect our kiddos. Being home with Pax everyday my emotions are exposed to him all day.  We had a showing this morning and so our morning routine was out of whack.  I made it a point this afternoon to do a one on one activity with Pax outside in the sunshine and it completely changed both of our attitudes for the better! 

 

I pray that all of us can get the strength we need when we need it - for our sake and our little ones! :)    

Beautiful Passion

I am blushing before I even begin this post.  This is the first devotional from Karol Ladd that I was apprehensive about blogging.  Its about sex, passion and love!   I am super private and conservative when talking about this subject but hey, if you've had a child or been pregnant the secrets out... you've had sex.  There is way more to us as women than just being a mom.  When I set out to get through this entire devotional and blog about it, the goal was to be a stronger woman and to be a stronger wife and mom.  This is one aspect to that... so, brace yourself... 

Young man: "How beautiful you are, my beloved, how beautiful! Your eyes are soft like doves." 

Young woman: "What a lovely, pleasant sight you are, my love, as we lie here on the grass, shaded by cedar trees and spreading firs."

Song of Songs 1:15-17

  

The two lovers in Song of Songs are full of love and and admiration for one another.  I can honestly admit I had never read Song of Songs before so I got out my bible this afternoon and read it... very steamy.  The lovers in Song of Songs only desire is to bring one another pleasure and the dialogue between them paints a really beautiful picture of marital love and passion.  "Ultimately, their heart and souls are joined together not just through words, but through the physical expression of their love." (Ladd)

Lucky for us, God designed sex to be more than a physical connection but also an intimate connection taking place only between a husband and wife.  It's so sad to me how the media portrays sex as a casual, no strings attached "act" that often times for others leads to heartache not happiness.  As wives (setting mommy-hood aside) and women, Karol Ladd encourages us to enjoy sex as God truly meant it, a beautiful bonding, both physically and emotionally between a man and a woman who have committed themselves to one another for life through marriage.  We're encouraged to not just see ourselves as moms but as the passionate, 'ahem' sexy women and wives we are :)    

Choices to make this week:
- This week I will choose to let my husband know how much I love and admire him, enjoy my husband physically, encourage greater intimacy with my husband.

Prayer from Karol Ladd:
"Most Holy God, I praise you for your pure and holy love toward me! Thank you for showing me what true love looks like.  Thank you for creating sex to be a beautiful connection between my husband and me.  Show me how to bring delight and pleasure to my husband.  Help me to express my respect and admiration for him.  May we grow closer to one another as, together, we grow closer to you.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

A Time and a Season

There is a time for everything,

a season for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to lose.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

 

 

Such a simple concept - "A time for everything" but much harder to swallow and follow.  Its a good reminder to focus on the now and the season of life we are currently in.  What we have to be thankful for now! A good reminder to change the pace of life from doing everything or wanting to do everything all at once to doing the right things at the right time.  Live in the moment instead of trying to always plan ahead and miss the current day you were given.  This doesn't mean we aren't allowed to dream, or want things or desire more.  The point is that there is a time and season for everything.  Each person's or family's season is different and goes all to fast.  Matthew and I are entering a new season as we prepare to grow our family and welcome a little girl into our everyday.  I know for me, I am going to embrace this season of being a family of 3, our time together with just Pax, pregnancy, planning and building our new house and the one on one time I have with Pax all day :).    Embrace the season of life you are living, embrace your kiddos and babies, the life you have now.  This season will pass all too quickly!          



The Power of Our Words

You know that moment when you have said something and you instantly regret it, or want to crawl in a hole and cover yourself up, or you have to turn away from your child because of the shame on your face and the disbelief on theirs? We've all been there at one time or another.  Whether we say something we regret on the computer or our phone, and want to delete the post or email upon re-reading what was sent, or we say something to someone we love  - its a horrible feeling. 

 

Today's devotional revolves around the power of our words and the scripture comes from Proverbs.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
The wise person makes learning a joy, fools spout only foolishness.
The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good.
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit...
A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook...
Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips bring satisfaction.

Proverbs 15:1-4; 18:4, 20

 

Harsh words stir up anger (aka speak gently), the wise person makes learning a joy (aka be smart in how you "teach" your children- they are learning from YOU), the Lord is watching (truth- pretend he is standing next to you), a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (have you ever seen this happen to a child? it is heartbreaking to see the spirit of a child squashed because of an adults words), words can be life-giving water (oh how I hope mine can be someday), words satisfy the soul (both hearing them and giving them satisfy my soul). 

 

Something I have learned about life so far - its not always WHAT is said that is the hurtful part - but HOW.  Words are powerful.  Having taught in a classroom setting I saw this happen so many times.  The right words in the right tone could change a situation in an instant.  "I'm so proud of..." (instant warm fuzzy), "Hmmm I wonder..." (instant curiosity and determination), A whisper in an ear of "I saw what you did, lets talk about it later" (instant self reflection and remorse), the dreaded teacher eye where a look can say a thousand words. I had 22 little eyes on me constantly - talk about pressure.  You know what though - it prepared me for motherhood.  I once had a major problem of saying things without fully thinking.  I don't know why.  I was raised to be a confident, proud woman and I took this a little to the extreme.  I did alot of self reflection, prayed alot, held myself accountable daily and over the years have gotten so much better.  I am still a work in progress, aren't we all?, but have learned that sometimes saying nothing at all is better than saying anything. 

As a mom, I am learning that Paxton watches EVERYTHING I do and hears everything I say.  How I talk to the checkout lady at Target.  How I talk on the phone, how I treat strangers.  He is learning from me.  You cannot take words back.  You can apologize but cannot take them back once they are out.  The damage has been done.  We all have those moments as a mom where we loose our cool.  But, the important thing is not to forget it and move on, but to go to our children, or walk back to the target cashier or sit next to our spouse and acknowledge we made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.  We are not perfect and we wont always have the perfect words to say and we wont always say them in the perfect tone.  But, we do have the ability to be aware and strive daily to be conscious of our words, how we use them, what we say and most importantly how they impact our children.  

From Karol Ladd, "[Children] need to hear what strong but gentle words sound like...the most effective discipline is not delivered through shouts and screams, but rather through caring, guarded and thoughtful instruction...as we teach, train and discipline our children, let's never underestimate the power of wise, kind and well-chosen words."   

Choices to make this week:

• This week I will choose to use only life-giving words with my family and friends, discipline my children with strong but gentle instruction, allow the law of kindness to rule my tongue.

Prayer:

"Loving and kind heavenly Father, I praise you for your wisdom and power.  You alone are the Lord.  Thank you for your kindness and gentleness toward me.  Lead me to speak kind and gentle words to my children in a spirit of calm.  Give me self-control when I'm angry, so that I do not hurt myself or others with my words.  Help me to use only life-giving words when I speak to my family and friends.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

Delighting in the Lord

To-do lists seem never ending.  Whether you are a list maker or someone who keeps a running catalog in your head, everyone has a list of to-do's.  The tricky part often times is discerning which items on the list to tackle first.  We make a subconscious priority list of to-do's, knowing full well that organizing the sock drawer can wait until tomorrow but the baby needs diapers like, now.  Or, if you're like me, you might enjoy organizing your shoe collection but hate doing laundry - so at the end of the day, your shoes look great but no-body has folded clothes to wear :).   We get so caught up in the stuff of life, that we forget to delight in our life and more importantly the Lord who gave it to us.  

Trust in the Lord and do good.  Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.  Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.  Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him, and he will help you. 

                                                                                                              Psalm 37: 3-5 
 

When I was a mom working outside of the home, I constantly felt pulled when I picked Pax up each day to drop everything at the door and commit the rest of the evening to him and him only.  Trust me, there were days I did just that.  We went out to dinner or ordered pizza, I graded zero papers, did zero housework and didn't bat an eye about it.  Then there were the days where the first hour home we played and loved and then I had items on my to-do list to complete, dinner, dishes, laundry, school work - you know, life stuff.  My to do list seemed never ending - I never felt "caught up".  On the flip side, being a mom working inside the home now, I've learned my to do list is just as long, and I have many of the same challenges I had before, just in a different way.  There is still a never ending to do list, it just looks different in many ways as the demands of this job are different than before.  I still have to balance how I tackle my to do list throughout the day while still fulfilling the role of being his "teacher". (See this post on my decision to be a stay at home teacher) There are days I catch myself being so caught up in knocking items off of my to do list that I forget to stop and enjoy the DAY - you know you're guilty of it too, we all are.  Hence, the challenges of motherhood. :) 

 

Todays scripture and devotional though caught me at a good place.  When I feel the need to make a list (ah hem, which is daily, maybe hourly :/)  I also need to commit it and pray about it to God.  "As we commit each day to the Lord through prayer, he helps us order our steps.  Some things are necessary and some things can wait, and we need His guidance and discernment to know the difference.  As we lay even the smallest details of our day before the Lord, he directs our path." (Karol ladd)  Whether you work in or out of your home, the role of being a mother is the same: the demands, the list making, the swirling of all we want to do and the balancing of fulfilling our many roles and hats as moms.   We can delight in the fact that we are not alone in this journey of motherhood, as we lay our needs before the Lord he walks along side of us through our days. 

 

I am challenging myself to look to God for guidance and direction this week (and every week thereafter) to help me discern between the must do's and the "I want to do" so I can be a better in the moment Mom.  Will I have days that feel like a blur - yes.  But, after reading this devotional and watching this video last week (click here) - I am working on relishing in each and every ordinary day and focusing less on MY to do list.  

 

Choices to make this week:

• I will choose to commit my work to the Lord, seek his guidance and delight in his presence all day long, teach my kids the blessings that come from delighting in the Lord and committing their ways to him.

 

Prayer from Karol Ladd:  

"I praise you, God most high, maker of heaven and earth.  You know the path I need to take.  You know the way that is best for me to go.  I look to you for guidance and direction.  I give you my list of today's to-dos.  Show me what is necessary and what is not.  Help me to be wise.  Most importantly, help me to delight in you and trust you in everything I do. In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

 

Trusting God

We all trust God. We know he has a plan for us, our families, our kids. We trust in the fact that although we may not know his plan, he DOES have one and our lives are carefully planned before we even take our first breath. The hard part is the understanding of WHY. Whether good or bad, we always have an element of understanding that is often times left unanswered. The hard part is being ok with it. The hard part (just being honest) is understanding and accepting Gods plan- good with the bad.

The scripture in today's devotional comes from Job. I learned today that Job was a very rich man with many animals (something that showed wealth in his time) and children.  He was a very Godly man, trusting God and living a life of strong faith.  Satan came to God one day as one of his "angels" and challenged God that when Job was tested, he would sway from God and turn against Him.  God gave the Ok for Satan to take away everything in Job's life, only sparing Job himself as a test.  So, Satan did.... through the course of many events in one day, all of Job's animals were gone and his children dead.  But still, Job praised God and turned to him for comfort.  Satan pushed on, he plagued Job with painful boils up and down his body and still he praised God and has a very powerful conversation with his wife ... which is what the scripture is below. 

"Then Job scraped his skin with a piece of broken pottery as he sat among the ashes.  His wife said to him, "Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die."

         But Job replied, "You talk like a godless woman.  Should we accept only the good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" So in all this, Job said nothing wrong.

                                                                                                                 Job 2:8-10

Wow... "Should we accept only the good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" I believe that would be a yes!  Through all of Job's sadness and disappointment, Job questioned God, but was never angry towards him.  His faith was shaken, but never gone.  As moms and really just in life, when terrible things happen to us, we have a particularly rough day, our family is going through something our kiddos are too young to understand, we hear another story of someone that breaks our heart, or we're tested in a way that pushes us to our limits... the "why God?" creeps in.  I think that's a natural response and honestly, a question we may not get a response to that's crystal clear.  But one thing I learned from Job today and to be quite frank, my husband who has had to ask alot of "Why God?" in his lifetime so far, is that we cannot even begin to understand God's ways and His plan is way beyond our comprehension.   

The other thing I learned from today is what Job talked about with his wife.  We may not like a situation in our life, we may not understand it, but we are to accept the good and bad from God.  Our faith, not our understanding, is what will get us through.  That is super hard sometimes, especially if you are a type A like muah but still...    

After all was said in done, God ended up blessing Job with twice as many riches as before, cured and healed his body of all boils and blessed him with more children than he had before (supposedly the most beautiful daughters in all the land). 

So, in the midst of little ones temper tantrums this week, kiddos testing us, overwhelming decisions, 50 things to juggle and I'm sure many more "trails" or "tests".  I am comforted knowing that while I may not understand the "why", I can relax knowing that God will carry me through it :)  

Choices to make this week:

• I will choose to place my faith and trust in the sovereignty of God, accept the things I cannot change and relinquish my right to understand why!

Prayer from Karol Ladd:

"Mighty God, I stand in awe of your majesty and power.  You are a good God! Although my comprehension is weak, I trust in your goodness.  Thank you that you have a plan that goes far beyond what I can see; thank you that you care about my deepest longings and needs.  Thank you that you are with me in my pain as well as my joy.  Help me to be aware of your presence.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

Out of the Comfort Zone

"Appearances are deceptive.  The fact that we cannot see what God is doing does not mean that he is doing nothing" (Sinclair Ferguson)

 

Today's scripture is from Esther, a woman named, by God, the Queen of Persia and placed in a position of honor.  Coming from being just a young Jewish girl, being a queen was a bit out of her comfort zone.  But God had a plan far bigger than her remaining just a queen.  The King of Persia at the time did not know his queen was a Jew and he signed a decree to destroy the current Jews living in their kingdom.  She had to make a decision as to whether or not to stand up for her people knowing full well she would be stepping way out of her comfort zone.  One thing was for sure though, she needed Gods help.  To prepare for what she had to do she fasted and prayed and asked those around her to as well.  She knew "... that she couldn't rely on the comfort of her position; she had to rely on the comfort of God's power and sovereignty".  

"Don't think for a moment that you will escape there in the palace when when all other Jews are killed.  If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die.  What's more who can say but that you have been elevated to the palace for just such a time as this?" 
       Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: "Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me.  Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day.  My maids and I will do the same.  And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king.  If I must die, I am willing to die."

                                                       Esther 4: 13-16

 

Now, Karol Ladd did not include how this ended. I am going to have to do some research and reading to find out what happens to Esther.  What I do know is that she was walking in uncharted territory and risking a lot to stand up for her people.  She relied on herself and God alone to get her through it.  Something we as moms have a hard time doing sometimes. We want to do it all, or feel like we should. 

 

It would be so nice to live in a world where we are all safe and sound with all of our ducks neatly in a row.  But we all have times when we are stretched by our circumstances or forced to step out of our comfort zones.  I admittedly, had a hard time relating stepping out of my comfort zone in regards to being a mom so far.  I mean, I guess childbirth has been the most uncomfortable situation thus far, making the decision to work full time Paxtons first year of life or maybe standing up for certain beliefs I have about raising babies.  In the department of motherhood I just haven't had that moment I clearly remember when I had to step out of my comfort zone... it's felt pretty natural so far.  Oh but wait... then I thought about pre school next year.  This has been a tough one for me.  Ultimately we decided Pax needs and is going to want to be in a pre school type program next year so as of Sept 2013, I will have to step out of my comfort zone 2 days a week when he goes to "school" from 9-1.  :) 

 

Seriously though... I know there will come a day and for some of you it already has or maybe you're living it right now... where as moms we are going to have to step out of our comfort zones for the sake of our kids, marriages, jobs, etc.  We should learn from Esther that we can place our trust with God, pray for his help and make a wise plan of action that best fits our family's needs. 

 

Choices:

- This week I will choose to trust God's sovereign plan for my life and my kids' lives. 

- This week I will choose to accept the fact that I may be pulled out of my comfort   

  zone. 

- This week I will choose to pray for wisdom for the steps I am to take.

 

Prayer: (From Karol Ladd)

"Lord, I praise you, because you have plans for my life that are far bigger than I know.  Thank you that no matter what I go through, you are with me. No matter where I am, you are there.  In the nice, comfy times and in the stretching, scary times, you never leave me.  Please grant me strength and wisdom to walk the path that you have set before me, and bring me safely to the other side.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

 

Like I said in the beginning, today's devotional really just served as a good reminder for me.  I know I will face things as a mom requiring me to step out of my comfort zone - I am so at peace knowing that I won't be alone.  God will be with me and he is also with You!

 

Have a great week!  

Big Task, Big Testimony

Sorry about last week  ... I just didn't make it to posting.  I had good intentions all week long and didn't quite get to it but let me tell you, I needed this mornings devotional!

Sunday morning around 4am I walked into Paxton's nursery responding to coughing and listening to him "whimper" for a few minutes and was slapped in the face welcomed by the horrific smell of vomit.  This is a first - ever.  Spit up yes, vommit no.  This is the second time he has ever vomited and - it - was - everywhere.  My poor baby was helpless and upset - we stripped him, stripped his bed, threw everything in the washing machine and if you have a crib bumper in your child's crib YOU KNOW what its like to change a crib sheet at 4 in the morning - shoot me.  Anyway.... the gist is this... he is still sick, does not feel good, is running a temperature, won't eat, won't drink, wants me to hold him 24/7, is in a crabby mood (I don't blame him), now has a red bottom from diarrhea (tmi sorry) and I am very tired :), but smiling.    We've all been where I am at - and if you haven't you will be one day... it sucks.  Its true though.... it is the most helpless feeling.  I have an amazing husband who is a champ at changing crib sheets, cleaning up vomit and changing diarrhea diapers so I am not alone here - its just that you feel like there are very few things you can do to help your baby.  So needless to say - when we were up at 5:30am this morning - I needed motivation and lots of it. 

 

Raise your hand if you have been watching the 'Bible'?  If you haven't, I encourage you to buy it when it comes on DVD or set your dvr to 'record all epidodes' for next Sunday because they are re-playing the whole series Sunday as well as the Finale Sunday/Easter night.  I am learning so much and getting so much clarity on the Bible and the God we all love so dearly.  Matthew and I are watching it together and have many light bulb moments the whole 2 hours.  One reason I love it is because it covers all the major and minor people in the bible.  It teaches you (in a different way than words - I am a visual learner :)) by going chronologically through the Bible how each and every story is connected.  The scripture today, Nehemiah 2:4-6; 6:15-16, is a great example.  I have a frame of reference to today's scripture because of my new found appreciation and understanding of the Bible.

The king asked, "Well, how can I help you?"

       With a prayer to the God of heaven, I replied, "If it please Your Majesty and if you are pleased with me, your servant, send me to Jerusalem to rebuild the city where my ancestors are buried." The king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked, "How long will you be gone? When will you return?" So the king agreed, and I set a date for my departure... 

        On October 2 the wall was finally finished - just fifty-two days after we had begun.  When our enemies and the surrounding nations heard about it, they were frightened and humiliated.  They realized that this work had been done with the help pf our God. 

 Nehemiah received alot of ridicule and threats because of what he wanted to do.  Rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem was not a one man job and he knew that, so he prayed to God that he would have the strength and tools to recruit others to help him.  The small amount of people that did faced the same ridicule and threats yet still, Nehemiah prayed to God for guidance and strength to get through it and motivate his fellow workers.  In the end, they finished the wall and God was glorified because everyone knew the job was too big to be completed without God's help. 

As moms, we all have those "I just can't handle it" days or moments.  Whether it be an obligation or job we chose to do - taking us out of our comfort zone, pushing us to the limits OR situations like mine today - having a sick baby (ok, toddler) that is wearing my butt out and testing my limits.  Either way, as moms we are going to find ourselves in situations bigger than our capabilities.  When it happens we have a choice - whine, complain and swim in self pity OR as Nehemiah did, look to God for help and use his strength to help us through it. 

Choices:

• This week I will choose to ask God for help and guidance each day.
• This week I will choose to look for what God can do through my abilities and talents.
• This week I will choose to take positive action instead of complain. 

Prayer:

"God I praise you for the guidance and ability you give me to handle the tasks you have set before me.  When I feel overwhelmed, please grant me your strength.  When I feel inadequate, please give me what I need for the moment.  I look to you and trust you for help.  May you be glorified in everything you do in and through my life.  In Jesus' name I pray, Amen"

So, after praying this morning I did find renewed strength, my brain less foggy and a new attitude towards our current situation.  This too shall pass and I can get through it.  As moms and women its important for us to remember we can and should derive our strength from God and prayer, we don't always have to be supermoms because lets be honest - I don't think any of us have been awarded capes :)   I pray my Pax starts feeling better soon so we can all go back to feeling a little more normal :)

(Wanted to mention: If you would like to receive these posts to your email when there is a new post, look on the right side toolbar and you can add your email, confirm a subscription and that's it.  I nor anyone else will know who is subscribed or not, but at least this way you can see each post as its posted) Have a great week!  

The Battle is The Lord's

We all face different battles in life.  One of my favorite quotes is "Be kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle".  The truth is, we are.  All of us, at some level, are fighting something going on in our lives.  Our battles may be with fear or worry, relationships, jobs, money, faith, addiction, sickness or even potty training a toddler or dealing with a strong willed child.  We are all facing something in our lives that is beating us down or filling us with a sense of hopelessness.  Take this scripture:

As all the men of Judah stood before the Lord with their little ones, wives, and children, the Spirit of the Lord came upon one of the men standing there... He said,  "Listen, King Jehoshaphat! Listen, all you people of Judah and Jerusalem! This is what the Lord says: Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours; but God's.  Tomorrow, march out against them.  You will find them coming up through the ascent of Ziz, at the end of the valley that opens into the wilderness of Jeruel.  But you will not even need to fight.  Take your positions; then stand still and watch the Lord's victory.  He is with you, O people of Judah and Jerusalem.  Do not be afraid or discouraged.  Go out there tomorrow, for the Lord is with you!"

2 Chronicles 20:13-17 

 

Okay, so we don't have an army lined up to fight us, but its safe to assume we all have a battle were facing.  Its so easy to think we are in the battle alone and the outcome (aka victory) is up to us.  WRONG - "Do not be afraid! Don't be discouraged by this mighty army, for the battle is not yours, but God's."  Read that again - I sure know I needed to hear that this week.  Last week was rough - as a family we faced a really tough battle in fact, I'm still facing it and dealing with it in a different way today.  I needed to be reminded that I need to give this battle over to God and stop trying to fight it on my own.  Just like He told the army, I needed to be reminded to stand firm, be courageous and listen to the Lord and obey.  I can trust him to give me the strength I need. So can you.  The Israelites went out the next morning, took their stand, and faced the enemy. God brought the victory!         

 

As a mom, I want to teach Paxton to stand firm when faced with battles in life and rely on the fact that he has a God who loves him and is willing to help him face his battles, no matter how big or small.  If I don't practice that with him or model it for him, he wont do it.  We can't rely on others to teach our kids what we want/need/desire for them to know.  It is our job as their parents to equip them with the tools necessary to get through life - which includes showing compassion towards others in the wake of their battles too.  

 

This week was a nice reminder that in my battles, my family's battles, I need to stand firm on beliefs, pray and ask God for help.  When I do that I know that I have God helping me fight that battle.  I am also going to practice being kind to others, realizing we all have battles, ours are no more important than others in the eyes of God  - as moms, humans.... we need to also support one another and be there to help each other.   

 

Choices: 

•  This week I will choose to give my battles to the Lord. 
•  This week I will choose to stand firm in my faith.
•  This week I will choose to cast away fear knowing that the Lord is with me.
•  This week I will choose to show kindness to others as we all face battles.   

Prayer:   
" [God] I praise you for you are able to bring victory in my life.  You have all the power I need to defeat my enemies! Help me to have the faith and courage to believe and stand firm.  Lord, I give all my battles to you.  I know I cannot win in my own strength; I need you.  Help me to do my part.  Thank you for always being with me.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."  

I walked away from this devo today feeling renewed being reminded that we do not have to fight our battles alone.  Even in silence God knows what we're facing, no matter how big or small and he is here to help us as long as we let him!  Comment a prayer request (anonymously if you need/want to) and I will, as I'm sure other readers as well, will pray for you as you face your battle.  If you could pray for me specifically on my health I would appreciate it :)  Have a great week!         

God Is Our Provider

I'm sure we have all had days where we feel less than equipped to be a mom.  After all, everyone says 'just follow your instinct' - well, that's great and all if I had an instinct to follow :)  or if I didn't second guess what my instinct was telling me to do :)  No really though... we do have an instinct - In my opinion its also called a judgement or conscience.  Today's devotional is centered around God being our provider when we feel we need something we do not have, no matter what it is. 
 
"One day the widow of one of Elisha's fellow Prophets came to Elisha and cried out to him.  "My husband who served you is dead, and you knew how he feared the Lord.  But now a creditor has come, threatening to take my two sons as slaves."
        "What can I do to help you?" Elisha asked.  "Tell me, what do you have in the house?" 
        "Nothing at all, except a flask of olive oil," she replied.     
          Elisha said, "Borrow as many empty jars as you can from your friends and neighbors.  Then go into your house with your sons and shut the door behind you.  Pour olive oil from your flask into the jars, setting jars aside as they are filled."
          So she did as she was told.  Her sons brought many jars to her, and she filled one after the other.  Soon every container was full to the brim!
          When she told the man of God what had happened, he said to her, "Now sell the olive oil and pay your debts, and there will be enough money left over to support you and your sons."

                                                                                                           2 Kings 4:1-7         

 

Wow - talk about providing a need.  If only that could happen with formula or breast milk, right?  :) Only kidding.  The lesson here though is that God took care of the family of someone who had cared deeply for him and more importantly asked him for help.  They were a household who loved and served the Lord.  I think another lesson in this scripture and how it applies to us is yes, as believers we believe in Gods provision and his ability to help us but- that doesn't mean we don't need to do our own set of work to allow his plan and work to be done.  We cant sit around expecting Gods blessings to fall in our lap.  We need to be praying about it and doing all we can to work towards our need.  Also, something that brought me more peace than anything is this from Karols book, " Finally, we can draw encouragement from the way that God took what little this woman had and multiplied it abundantly.  We may think we have little to offer.  But God can take our simple love, faith, and obedience and multiply it into significant blessings for our home". 

 

In my mind, that means even the small things count.  I don't know what you need or what your family might need but make sure God does.  He can provide for us as long as we are willing and open to accepting what he can offer.  Listen for his guidance and be willing to accept what he tells you to do. That mommy instinct I talked about above-that might just be God telling us what to do - I guess we should listen to it! :)

 

Choices:

- This week I will choose to look to God as my provider.

- This week I will choose to faithfully obey what he leads me to do.

- This week I will choose to teach my children about God's faithfulness. 

 

Prayer:    

"Wonderful Lord and Perfect Provider, I praise you for your tender love and care for me.  I praise you for your magnificent power that is able to take what little I have to offer and use it in a wonderful way.  Thank you for looking after the needs of my family.  Help me to live in faithful obedience to you.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

Delighting in God's Blessings

The answered prayer.  We have all desired for our most personal prayers to be answered and over the course of our lives some have been answered exactly like we would want, others have not been our chosen outcome and others are still in the process of being unfolded.  

If ya'll remember correctly, when I started this blog and made my first post HERE, I made it known that I was reading a devotional by Karol Ladd each Monday to learn and grow and that I wasn't an expert.  Today's scripture comes from a book of the bible I was unfamiliar with and comes from a story I had not heard before.  

"I asked the Lord to give me this child, and he has given me my request.  Now I am giving him to the Lord, and he will belong to the Lord his whole life."  And they worshiped the Lord there. 
Then Hannah prayed: "My heart rejoices in the Lord! Oh, how the Lord has blessed me! Now I have an answer for my enemies, as I delight in your deliverance.  No one is holy like the Lord!  There is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God."

1 Samuel 1:27-28; 2:1-2

Hannah, the woman praying above, was saddened for years and years for not being able to concieve a child and was also ridiculed for years by others.  She prayed to God every day and as time went on got more and more saddened that she hadn't had a child yet, still she prayed.   She wondered how God would let her suffer so much, but God had a plan.  Out of her perseverance and prayers to God she eventually had a son named, Samuel .  He grew up to be a faithful servant of God and a leader.  This scripture above shows the joy in the Lord she had when she had her son and the thanksgiving she showed him out of her joy!  The example of Gods perfect timing and the praise we should give Him when our prayers are answered.

 

What I learned today is that as moms, we should strive to pray to God with peace knowing that He has a plan for us, for our families, for our children.  We should find joy in the answering of that prayer - whether its what we saw coming or not.  Its so easy to drop to our knees and pray and lay our needs out before the Lord, but its not as easy (or easy to rememeber) to praise God and thank Him when our prayers are "answered" - whether its what we "wanted" or not.  I am going to try and take a moment each day this week to stop and thank God for all that he has blessed me with and even though Pax is little, he knows we pray and I'm going to pray special prayers with him thanking God for all he has.  Have you seen the movie "Facing the Giants?"  If you just answered no, then you must see it.  Its basically the gist of this devotional, you praise God no matter what - and in time, he will bless you.  (Matthew and I have a copy I can mail to you if you want to borrow it)   

 

Choices this week:    

• This week I will choose to give all my cares, concerns and requests to God in prayer.
• This week I will choose to spend more time thanking God and delighting in his blessings.
• This week I will choose to teach my children to thank God in their prayers.

Prayer:

"Lord, I praise you, for you are good and you are powerful.  I praise you because you have a plan for my life.  I trust your plan.  Thank you for all the ways you have already moved and worked on my behalf.  You have blessed me so much! Thank you for being my rock and my refuge as I wait on you for the blessings to come.  Be glorified in my life!  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

 

You know, I have some very personal and heavy prayers I have been praying lately, it hadn't occured to me that maybe the reason God hasn't responded to those prayers yet was because I haven't been as diligent and heartfelt with my thanks for all he has answered.  It's much easier to view the glass half empty than half full sometimes, just being honest... you know its true.  I know I am a blessed girl, I tell myself that all the time.  But do I tell God? :/  I'm gonna suck it up and find more "Delight in God's Blessings" this week - I hope you can too!       

Rich and Rewarding Loyalty

I Hope you had a great week last week deriving your strength from God to help you get through it :) I did that today more than any other day last week - had to swallow some difficult news that ultimately just made me so thankful to God for everything I have in life.  On a sweet note, Paxton is now pressing his little hands together when its time to pray at dinner and says his version of 'Ah meh' after our dinner table prayer.  After months of him watching us he is doing it on his own :)  THE sweetest thing and sound to this mommas ears :)

This week, our devotional is all about loyalty to your family.  Loyalty through your actions, your words (both said and written) and your thoughts - your whole self.  Todays scripture is taken from the book of Ruth.  Ruth was the daughter in law to a woman named Naomi.  In this particular scripture below, Ruths husband had died, Naomis son, and therefore according to law Ruth no longer had an obligation or loyalty to her mother in law.  Yet, as you will read, she remained loyal. 

But Ruth insisted in staying loyal to Naomi. "See," Naomi said to her. "your sister-in-law has gone back to her people and to her gods.  You should do the same."
             But Ruth replied, "Don't ask me to leave you and turn back.  I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live.  Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.  I will die where you die and will be buried there.  May the Lord punish me severely if I allow anything but death to seperate us!"  So when Naomi saw that Ruth had made up her mind to go with her, she stopped urging her. 

Ruth 1:14-18

 

In a world where when the going gets tough people get going - its important that we take a loyalty reality check and ask ourselves if we are completely loyal to our loved ones when they need us.  Do we pull back and act as if nothing is wrong, do we talk about them to our girlfriends instead of with them? Do we bash our husbands for all his shortcummings versus praise him for everything he does thats wonderful? Do we fuss at our children for all they're doing wrong or remain loyal to our goal of building them up by focusing on what they're doing right? After all, they are real people with real little feelings :).  The list could go on and on...  This week - we are encouraged to be as loyal to our families and children as the Lord is loyal to us and Ruth to Naomi.  As hard as it may be to remain positive and uplifting when we would rather retreat and go away - being present and available to those we love and care about shows the ultimate love which is loyalty (remember those wedding vows?) Too bad we don't have to say vows to our children when we have them.

 

Choices:

• This week I will choose to guard my mouth and only speak well of others.
• This week I will choose to do a self check of my loyalty toward family and friends.
• This week I will choose to teach my children about the richness and rewards of loyalty.

Prayer
"Faithful Father, I praise you for being loyal, trustworthy, and loving toward me.  Help me to reflect that same type of loyal love toward the people in my life.  Give me the courage and strength to guard my tounge and my actions.  Keep me from hurting the ones I love through disloyal words or deeds.  Thank you for my children, my family members, and my friends, and help me to honor them with loyalty and faithfullness.  In Jesus' name I pray, amen." 

I have found myself lately being super motivated on Mondays, but by mid week sometimes forgetting what I am supposed to be working on for the week (oops :/)  So, this week I made a "poster" to print out and put in a place that can remind me all week long.  If you want to do the same just right click and save it or print it for yourself.   

 I hope you have a great week and sorry this is late in the evening or maybe even Tuesday depending on when you read this - like I said, whirlwind of a morning :)
    

Who Gets the Glory?

Supermom - we've all called ourselves that before :)  Not very often but it has happened.  Too often more than not I aspire or try too hard to do it all (don't we all?).  I'm admittedly a little bit bossy and somewhat of a 'take control' type girl, but motherhood has softened me in that department.  One thing I am super guilty of though - is taking the glory for myself. Gasp.  Matthew gets home from work, errands ran, house is clean, dinner cooked, Pax happy - yeah, who's your wife now? :)  (Okay, I don't really say that in my head but if I did that's what I would say)  The scripture below paints a different picture though and this mornings devotional helped me to re-focus my thought process and the label 'supermom'. 

The Lord said to Gideon, "You have too many warriors with you.  If I let all of you fight the Midianites, the Israelites will boast to me that they saved themselves by their own strength.  Therefore, tell the people.  'Whoever is timid or afraid may leave and go home.'" Twenty two thousand of them went home, leaving only ten thousand who were willing to fight.
       But the Lord told Gideon, "There are still too many!"

                                       Judges 7:2-4

 

Yikes, I was so confused when I first read that, I read it like 5 times.  Karol Ladd clears things up though...  I am going to quote her, "Gideon started out with a superarmy.  But God was not looking for an army that could 'do it all'.  He wanted a humble army that would look to him for its success and recognize that victory was found in him alone, not in self sufficiency.  God eventually whittled down Gideon's army to three hundred men.  He granted the victory, and the honor went to him." 

 

You know why its so hard to "do it all"?  Because we're not supposed to! Along with help from our husbands, God wants us to seek him, use him, rely on him and ultimately give Him the glory.  He doesn't want us to be "self-sufficient" he wants us to be "God-sufficient".  He is looking for moms who will look to him for guidance, wisdom, direction and strength.  When we try to do it all - we seek/get the glory - whether that's our intention or not.  But when we rely on God and get our strength from him then He gets the glory.  I don't want Paxton to grow up thinking that he has to derive all his own strength from himself -what a way to feel defeated.  I want him to know that he gets his strength from seeking God.  If I don't do that - how will I teach him to?  Bottom line - God doesn't expect us to be super moms.  We can bask in those days when we feel like one and give ourselves a pat on the back, we just can't forget to thank our God too.  And by all means - on the days we feel less than super - seek Him, rely on Him and praise Him for after all, motherhood is a war in and out of itself! :)

 

Choices:

• This week I will choose to see the God-possibilities instead of my own inabilities. 
• This week I will choose to be God-sufficient rather than self-sufficient.
• This week I will choose to give God the glory and not myself.

Prayer:
"All sufficient God, I praise you, for you are all power and all wisdom.  I recognize that I'm not a supermom.  I can't do it all.  I praise you that you can! Thank you for loving and caring for me and my family.  Teach me to be responsible, humble, wise and strong.  Help my children to grow up to be well-balanced adults who follow you, so that you may be glorified.  Thank you for being the protector of my family and the guardian of each of our souls.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

Going into this week - I am going to strive to depend on God's help and not just depend on myself or Matthew.  We are all awesome moms - there's no doubt about that- but we are awesome because God made us that way.  We do awesome things because God helps us - and we are going to raise awesome little ones only with God's help!

Have a happy Valentines week! :)