A Time and a Season

There is a time for everything,

a season for every activity under heaven.

A time to be born and a time to die.

A time to plant and a time to harvest.

A time to kill and a time to heal.

A time to tear down and a time to rebuild.

A time to cry and a time to laugh.

A time to grieve and a time to dance.

A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones.

A time to embrace and a time to turn away.

A time to search and a time to lose.

A time to keep and a time to throw away.

A time to tear and a time to mend.

A time to be quiet and a time to speak up.

A time to love and a time to hate.

A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 

 

 

Such a simple concept - "A time for everything" but much harder to swallow and follow.  Its a good reminder to focus on the now and the season of life we are currently in.  What we have to be thankful for now! A good reminder to change the pace of life from doing everything or wanting to do everything all at once to doing the right things at the right time.  Live in the moment instead of trying to always plan ahead and miss the current day you were given.  This doesn't mean we aren't allowed to dream, or want things or desire more.  The point is that there is a time and season for everything.  Each person's or family's season is different and goes all to fast.  Matthew and I are entering a new season as we prepare to grow our family and welcome a little girl into our everyday.  I know for me, I am going to embrace this season of being a family of 3, our time together with just Pax, pregnancy, planning and building our new house and the one on one time I have with Pax all day :).    Embrace the season of life you are living, embrace your kiddos and babies, the life you have now.  This season will pass all too quickly!          



The Power of Our Words

You know that moment when you have said something and you instantly regret it, or want to crawl in a hole and cover yourself up, or you have to turn away from your child because of the shame on your face and the disbelief on theirs? We've all been there at one time or another.  Whether we say something we regret on the computer or our phone, and want to delete the post or email upon re-reading what was sent, or we say something to someone we love  - its a horrible feeling. 

 

Today's devotional revolves around the power of our words and the scripture comes from Proverbs.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but harsh words stir up anger.
The wise person makes learning a joy, fools spout only foolishness.
The Lord is watching everywhere, keeping his eye on both the evil and the good.
Gentle words bring life and health; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit...
A person's words can be life-giving water; words of true wisdom are as refreshing as a bubbling brook...
Words satisfy the soul as food satisfies the stomach; the right words on a person's lips bring satisfaction.

Proverbs 15:1-4; 18:4, 20

 

Harsh words stir up anger (aka speak gently), the wise person makes learning a joy (aka be smart in how you "teach" your children- they are learning from YOU), the Lord is watching (truth- pretend he is standing next to you), a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit (have you ever seen this happen to a child? it is heartbreaking to see the spirit of a child squashed because of an adults words), words can be life-giving water (oh how I hope mine can be someday), words satisfy the soul (both hearing them and giving them satisfy my soul). 

 

Something I have learned about life so far - its not always WHAT is said that is the hurtful part - but HOW.  Words are powerful.  Having taught in a classroom setting I saw this happen so many times.  The right words in the right tone could change a situation in an instant.  "I'm so proud of..." (instant warm fuzzy), "Hmmm I wonder..." (instant curiosity and determination), A whisper in an ear of "I saw what you did, lets talk about it later" (instant self reflection and remorse), the dreaded teacher eye where a look can say a thousand words. I had 22 little eyes on me constantly - talk about pressure.  You know what though - it prepared me for motherhood.  I once had a major problem of saying things without fully thinking.  I don't know why.  I was raised to be a confident, proud woman and I took this a little to the extreme.  I did alot of self reflection, prayed alot, held myself accountable daily and over the years have gotten so much better.  I am still a work in progress, aren't we all?, but have learned that sometimes saying nothing at all is better than saying anything. 

As a mom, I am learning that Paxton watches EVERYTHING I do and hears everything I say.  How I talk to the checkout lady at Target.  How I talk on the phone, how I treat strangers.  He is learning from me.  You cannot take words back.  You can apologize but cannot take them back once they are out.  The damage has been done.  We all have those moments as a mom where we loose our cool.  But, the important thing is not to forget it and move on, but to go to our children, or walk back to the target cashier or sit next to our spouse and acknowledge we made a mistake and ask for forgiveness.  We are not perfect and we wont always have the perfect words to say and we wont always say them in the perfect tone.  But, we do have the ability to be aware and strive daily to be conscious of our words, how we use them, what we say and most importantly how they impact our children.  

From Karol Ladd, "[Children] need to hear what strong but gentle words sound like...the most effective discipline is not delivered through shouts and screams, but rather through caring, guarded and thoughtful instruction...as we teach, train and discipline our children, let's never underestimate the power of wise, kind and well-chosen words."   

Choices to make this week:

• This week I will choose to use only life-giving words with my family and friends, discipline my children with strong but gentle instruction, allow the law of kindness to rule my tongue.

Prayer:

"Loving and kind heavenly Father, I praise you for your wisdom and power.  You alone are the Lord.  Thank you for your kindness and gentleness toward me.  Lead me to speak kind and gentle words to my children in a spirit of calm.  Give me self-control when I'm angry, so that I do not hurt myself or others with my words.  Help me to use only life-giving words when I speak to my family and friends.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

Delighting in the Lord

To-do lists seem never ending.  Whether you are a list maker or someone who keeps a running catalog in your head, everyone has a list of to-do's.  The tricky part often times is discerning which items on the list to tackle first.  We make a subconscious priority list of to-do's, knowing full well that organizing the sock drawer can wait until tomorrow but the baby needs diapers like, now.  Or, if you're like me, you might enjoy organizing your shoe collection but hate doing laundry - so at the end of the day, your shoes look great but no-body has folded clothes to wear :).   We get so caught up in the stuff of life, that we forget to delight in our life and more importantly the Lord who gave it to us.  

Trust in the Lord and do good.  Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.  Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart's desires.  Commit everything you do to the Lord.  Trust him, and he will help you. 

                                                                                                              Psalm 37: 3-5 
 

When I was a mom working outside of the home, I constantly felt pulled when I picked Pax up each day to drop everything at the door and commit the rest of the evening to him and him only.  Trust me, there were days I did just that.  We went out to dinner or ordered pizza, I graded zero papers, did zero housework and didn't bat an eye about it.  Then there were the days where the first hour home we played and loved and then I had items on my to-do list to complete, dinner, dishes, laundry, school work - you know, life stuff.  My to do list seemed never ending - I never felt "caught up".  On the flip side, being a mom working inside the home now, I've learned my to do list is just as long, and I have many of the same challenges I had before, just in a different way.  There is still a never ending to do list, it just looks different in many ways as the demands of this job are different than before.  I still have to balance how I tackle my to do list throughout the day while still fulfilling the role of being his "teacher". (See this post on my decision to be a stay at home teacher) There are days I catch myself being so caught up in knocking items off of my to do list that I forget to stop and enjoy the DAY - you know you're guilty of it too, we all are.  Hence, the challenges of motherhood. :) 

 

Todays scripture and devotional though caught me at a good place.  When I feel the need to make a list (ah hem, which is daily, maybe hourly :/)  I also need to commit it and pray about it to God.  "As we commit each day to the Lord through prayer, he helps us order our steps.  Some things are necessary and some things can wait, and we need His guidance and discernment to know the difference.  As we lay even the smallest details of our day before the Lord, he directs our path." (Karol ladd)  Whether you work in or out of your home, the role of being a mother is the same: the demands, the list making, the swirling of all we want to do and the balancing of fulfilling our many roles and hats as moms.   We can delight in the fact that we are not alone in this journey of motherhood, as we lay our needs before the Lord he walks along side of us through our days. 

 

I am challenging myself to look to God for guidance and direction this week (and every week thereafter) to help me discern between the must do's and the "I want to do" so I can be a better in the moment Mom.  Will I have days that feel like a blur - yes.  But, after reading this devotional and watching this video last week (click here) - I am working on relishing in each and every ordinary day and focusing less on MY to do list.  

 

Choices to make this week:

• I will choose to commit my work to the Lord, seek his guidance and delight in his presence all day long, teach my kids the blessings that come from delighting in the Lord and committing their ways to him.

 

Prayer from Karol Ladd:  

"I praise you, God most high, maker of heaven and earth.  You know the path I need to take.  You know the way that is best for me to go.  I look to you for guidance and direction.  I give you my list of today's to-dos.  Show me what is necessary and what is not.  Help me to be wise.  Most importantly, help me to delight in you and trust you in everything I do. In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

 

Trusting God

We all trust God. We know he has a plan for us, our families, our kids. We trust in the fact that although we may not know his plan, he DOES have one and our lives are carefully planned before we even take our first breath. The hard part is the understanding of WHY. Whether good or bad, we always have an element of understanding that is often times left unanswered. The hard part is being ok with it. The hard part (just being honest) is understanding and accepting Gods plan- good with the bad.

The scripture in today's devotional comes from Job. I learned today that Job was a very rich man with many animals (something that showed wealth in his time) and children.  He was a very Godly man, trusting God and living a life of strong faith.  Satan came to God one day as one of his "angels" and challenged God that when Job was tested, he would sway from God and turn against Him.  God gave the Ok for Satan to take away everything in Job's life, only sparing Job himself as a test.  So, Satan did.... through the course of many events in one day, all of Job's animals were gone and his children dead.  But still, Job praised God and turned to him for comfort.  Satan pushed on, he plagued Job with painful boils up and down his body and still he praised God and has a very powerful conversation with his wife ... which is what the scripture is below. 

"Then Job scraped his skin with a piece of broken pottery as he sat among the ashes.  His wife said to him, "Are you still trying to maintain your integrity? Curse God and die."

         But Job replied, "You talk like a godless woman.  Should we accept only the good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" So in all this, Job said nothing wrong.

                                                                                                                 Job 2:8-10

Wow... "Should we accept only the good things from the hand of God and never anything bad?" I believe that would be a yes!  Through all of Job's sadness and disappointment, Job questioned God, but was never angry towards him.  His faith was shaken, but never gone.  As moms and really just in life, when terrible things happen to us, we have a particularly rough day, our family is going through something our kiddos are too young to understand, we hear another story of someone that breaks our heart, or we're tested in a way that pushes us to our limits... the "why God?" creeps in.  I think that's a natural response and honestly, a question we may not get a response to that's crystal clear.  But one thing I learned from Job today and to be quite frank, my husband who has had to ask alot of "Why God?" in his lifetime so far, is that we cannot even begin to understand God's ways and His plan is way beyond our comprehension.   

The other thing I learned from today is what Job talked about with his wife.  We may not like a situation in our life, we may not understand it, but we are to accept the good and bad from God.  Our faith, not our understanding, is what will get us through.  That is super hard sometimes, especially if you are a type A like muah but still...    

After all was said in done, God ended up blessing Job with twice as many riches as before, cured and healed his body of all boils and blessed him with more children than he had before (supposedly the most beautiful daughters in all the land). 

So, in the midst of little ones temper tantrums this week, kiddos testing us, overwhelming decisions, 50 things to juggle and I'm sure many more "trails" or "tests".  I am comforted knowing that while I may not understand the "why", I can relax knowing that God will carry me through it :)  

Choices to make this week:

• I will choose to place my faith and trust in the sovereignty of God, accept the things I cannot change and relinquish my right to understand why!

Prayer from Karol Ladd:

"Mighty God, I stand in awe of your majesty and power.  You are a good God! Although my comprehension is weak, I trust in your goodness.  Thank you that you have a plan that goes far beyond what I can see; thank you that you care about my deepest longings and needs.  Thank you that you are with me in my pain as well as my joy.  Help me to be aware of your presence.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

Out of the Comfort Zone

"Appearances are deceptive.  The fact that we cannot see what God is doing does not mean that he is doing nothing" (Sinclair Ferguson)

 

Today's scripture is from Esther, a woman named, by God, the Queen of Persia and placed in a position of honor.  Coming from being just a young Jewish girl, being a queen was a bit out of her comfort zone.  But God had a plan far bigger than her remaining just a queen.  The King of Persia at the time did not know his queen was a Jew and he signed a decree to destroy the current Jews living in their kingdom.  She had to make a decision as to whether or not to stand up for her people knowing full well she would be stepping way out of her comfort zone.  One thing was for sure though, she needed Gods help.  To prepare for what she had to do she fasted and prayed and asked those around her to as well.  She knew "... that she couldn't rely on the comfort of her position; she had to rely on the comfort of God's power and sovereignty".  

"Don't think for a moment that you will escape there in the palace when when all other Jews are killed.  If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die.  What's more who can say but that you have been elevated to the palace for just such a time as this?" 
       Then Esther sent this reply to Mordecai: "Go and gather together all the Jews of Susa and fast for me.  Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day.  My maids and I will do the same.  And then, though it is against the law, I will go in to see the king.  If I must die, I am willing to die."

                                                       Esther 4: 13-16

 

Now, Karol Ladd did not include how this ended. I am going to have to do some research and reading to find out what happens to Esther.  What I do know is that she was walking in uncharted territory and risking a lot to stand up for her people.  She relied on herself and God alone to get her through it.  Something we as moms have a hard time doing sometimes. We want to do it all, or feel like we should. 

 

It would be so nice to live in a world where we are all safe and sound with all of our ducks neatly in a row.  But we all have times when we are stretched by our circumstances or forced to step out of our comfort zones.  I admittedly, had a hard time relating stepping out of my comfort zone in regards to being a mom so far.  I mean, I guess childbirth has been the most uncomfortable situation thus far, making the decision to work full time Paxtons first year of life or maybe standing up for certain beliefs I have about raising babies.  In the department of motherhood I just haven't had that moment I clearly remember when I had to step out of my comfort zone... it's felt pretty natural so far.  Oh but wait... then I thought about pre school next year.  This has been a tough one for me.  Ultimately we decided Pax needs and is going to want to be in a pre school type program next year so as of Sept 2013, I will have to step out of my comfort zone 2 days a week when he goes to "school" from 9-1.  :) 

 

Seriously though... I know there will come a day and for some of you it already has or maybe you're living it right now... where as moms we are going to have to step out of our comfort zones for the sake of our kids, marriages, jobs, etc.  We should learn from Esther that we can place our trust with God, pray for his help and make a wise plan of action that best fits our family's needs. 

 

Choices:

- This week I will choose to trust God's sovereign plan for my life and my kids' lives. 

- This week I will choose to accept the fact that I may be pulled out of my comfort   

  zone. 

- This week I will choose to pray for wisdom for the steps I am to take.

 

Prayer: (From Karol Ladd)

"Lord, I praise you, because you have plans for my life that are far bigger than I know.  Thank you that no matter what I go through, you are with me. No matter where I am, you are there.  In the nice, comfy times and in the stretching, scary times, you never leave me.  Please grant me strength and wisdom to walk the path that you have set before me, and bring me safely to the other side.  In Jesus's name I pray, amen."

 

Like I said in the beginning, today's devotional really just served as a good reminder for me.  I know I will face things as a mom requiring me to step out of my comfort zone - I am so at peace knowing that I won't be alone.  God will be with me and he is also with You!

 

Have a great week!